Oh my gosh I just read this and feel like FINALLY!!!! I had no idea what was the problem. I'm 50 years old and have been living with a narcissistic mother my whole life and just recently was told she is narcissistic. I'm making an appt. for counseling.... I can't emotionally, mentally take it anymore. Thank you, so much. I'm going to order your book...
Hi! Good for you!! Therapy will be helpful! Be sure to see someone who has a background in narcissism. (You will save a lot of time & money) I also have a Facebook page called Narcissistic Parent Answers. You may find a lot of support there as well & can message me there too. Feel free to ask any questions you may have. :-) Tina
Wow. So true. My husband spoke to his mother about her poor behaviour. As a result she threatened to never visit us again. She refused to come to my daughters debutant ball because of all the "lies and trouble making". She then threatened to tell my husbands siblings that we slandered them. We never did. In fact, the very things she threatened to tell them were the very things she had said about them, NOT us. Then as usual up comes the will. This is a very powerful weapon used by both my in-laws in order to get their own way. We never have and never will rely on them or take anything from them. My husband has been adamant about that over the years. he said to me when we were first married"they are not the type of people you want to be indebted to". My mother in law hates this fact and in her last phone call here she was screaming "I don't have a leg to stand on". In the world of a Narcissist that translates to "I can't threaten you with anything". My husbands sibling rely heavily on the assistance of their parents (fair enough, so do a lot of kids). However, unlike most parents, my in-laws love the control this gives them and would not hesitate to cut off all assistance if upset. They give assistance, gifts and money to gain control, not out of love, generosity or kindness.
You are absolutely correct Donna. Narcissists are all about control. They only give something in order to get some type of reciprocation. Smart of you not to take anything. I have done the same. I took my mother's power away by telling her I don't need her money, spend it on yourself.
It's a shame your husband's siblings are stuck in that cycle.
Thank you for your encouragement. We just found you. Thank YOU!
ReplyDeleteYou are very welcome Julia! :-) I hope the blog is helpful.
ReplyDeleteI also have a Facebook page Narcissistic Parent Answers which you may find helpfull as well.
Feel free to ask any questions.
Tina
Oh my gosh I just read this and feel like FINALLY!!!! I had no idea what was the problem. I'm 50 years old and have been living with a narcissistic mother my whole life and just recently was told she is narcissistic. I'm making an appt. for counseling.... I can't emotionally, mentally take it anymore. Thank you, so much. I'm going to order your book...
ReplyDeleteHi! Good for you!! Therapy will be helpful! Be sure to see someone who has a background in narcissism. (You will save a lot of time & money)
DeleteI also have a Facebook page called Narcissistic Parent Answers. You may find a lot of support there as well & can message me there too. Feel free to ask any questions you may have. :-) Tina
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteWow. So true. My husband spoke to his mother about her poor behaviour. As a result she threatened to never visit us again. She refused to come to my daughters debutant ball because of all the "lies and trouble making". She then threatened to tell my husbands siblings that we slandered them. We never did. In fact, the very things she threatened to tell them were the very things she had said about them, NOT us. Then as usual up comes the will. This is a very powerful weapon used by both my in-laws in order to get their own way. We never have and never will rely on them or take anything from them. My husband has been adamant about that over the years. he said to me when we were first married"they are not the type of people you want to be indebted to". My mother in law hates this fact and in her last phone call here she was screaming "I don't have a leg to stand on". In the world of a Narcissist that translates to "I can't threaten you with anything". My husbands sibling rely heavily on the assistance of their parents (fair enough, so do a lot of kids). However, unlike most parents, my in-laws love the control this gives them and would not hesitate to cut off all assistance if upset. They give assistance, gifts and money to gain control, not out of love, generosity or kindness.
ReplyDeleteYou are absolutely correct Donna. Narcissists are all about control. They only give something in order to get some type of reciprocation. Smart of you not to take anything. I have done the same. I took my mother's power away by telling her I don't need her money, spend it on yourself.
ReplyDeleteIt's a shame your husband's siblings are stuck in that cycle.